brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
