God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
third nipple confirmed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
