We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
