I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
