I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
