So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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