you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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