so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
