they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
