the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
