Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it's like iHOP with fire
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
