there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
