i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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