You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
