??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
