shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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