i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
