never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
