Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
