just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
