oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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