I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
