You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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