and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
