i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
