and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
