I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
