We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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