I need help removing her.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Drunk is a universal language darling
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
