Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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