Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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