I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
