I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
