24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
