It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
