Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
