is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
