dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
