It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
