Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
