I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize
