whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
