Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
