please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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