Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
