ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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