I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
