I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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