either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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