Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
