I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
